Our final ever final ever final Full English tickets are on sale. The gig is at Victoria Cinema over in Devonport on Saturday 18th February and those lucky enough to get in early qualify for the early bird ticket price of $20 (until Jan 6th). To book, click HERE

Food is useful in many ways. The number one reason we eat of course is so that we keep on living. Food also releases endorphins into the bloodstream, your brain rewarding you for having tracked some food down (although admittedly this is somewhat easier these days, particularly so if you live in a Western society). Sharing a meal can also be great for social events and getting to know people. It can also lead to irrational rage and a deep hatred for everything that did exist, currently exists or will exist. Let me explain. [More]

I really like movies. Ask anyone I know. I like them. Movies that is. Them could mean anything. I like movies. And I’m not one of those people who only likes the biggest blockbusters with a budget that easily covers the GDP of a couple of the poorest countries in the world with enough spare change to send a rocket to the Moon. I also like watching movies with lower budgets and less glitz; probably more than the latest sequel of a remade sequel if I’m honest. Hell I’ve even been known to watch a movie with subtitles. That’s right, one of those movies that isn’t spoken out in English and forces you to activate that part of the brain responsible for reading and understanding. But I have to draw the line somewhere. And that somewhere is Melancholia, a movie as arse-clenchingly bad as it name suggests. [More]

House-hunting is a strange term don’t you think? House-searching makes more sense to me although that seems to sound closer to describing burglary more than anything else. But how do you hunt for a house? Do you get dressed up in your best horse-riding gear, wear a ridiculous looking hat and go out with ten of your best hunting Beagles in search of your dream home? Luckily you don’t have to answer that. The answer is given to us in the 9 million property programmes on television these days. [More]

I don’t know why anyone would want to be a teacher, particularly a teacher of teenagers where I went to school. I guess there would be some satisfaction in seeing some of the students pass exams and the long holidays would be another nice perk but I don’t know if that would be enough to offset the random abuse and constant mind games teenagers armed with raging hormones play. The job must be made more difficult by the fact that kids know they are untouchable these days, a far cry from the dictatorial days only a couple of decades ago when teachers would routinely belt students (usually not with a belt). The school I went to was poor in monetary terms. It was also poor in official standard terms. Don’t get me wrong there were some great teachers there but some kids were simply lunatics and uncontrollable. Here are some of my memories of secondary school. [More]

Finaaaallllyyyyy. After a fantastically difficult run of fixtures since the middle of September during which we had lost all but one game, we welcomed an out-of-sorts Wolves team to Goodison Park and finally picked up three points. [More]

Do you remember those optical illusion books that used to send you temporarily cross-eyed but occasionally after about 30 seconds worked so that you seen a geometric dinosaur appear? Well, watching Everton this season so far has been like that except you have to stare at it for 90 minutes and at the end a huge grey image of a fetid turd appears to pop out of the TV. The only difference is that this is no illusion. [More]

“Quality in the final third” is almost becoming a comical phrase at Goodison Park. Not since Yakubu was in form three years ago have we had a regular goalscorer or for that matter a regular striker what with Louis Saha’s injury record indicating his bones are made out of broken biscuits. And so again it proved against our geographical rivals from the other end of the East Lancs with clinical finishing the only real difference between the two teams. [More]

There was a grim inevitability about this match. Yes, Everton were unbeaten in almost a dozen meetings between the two teams but almost every one of them had been a draw so it wasn’t as if we were reigning supreme. [More]

Never a red card.